Sometimes Successful People….

Posted: May 3, 2012 in Pregnant Wife Stories

Are the worst type of people.

Sometimes successful people are people who somehow landed at success, but would never have been successful without a  complete alignment of the planets and the gods reaching down and twisting fate for them.  Sometimes people who happen upon success as a function of luck do well, but mostly they don’t.  These people are the ones so reliant upon the thoughts of others that they cannot function without prompting, and who are usually too pathetically scared to make corrections–rendering themselves ineffective. 

We view people who get degrees as successful, and this is good, I guess.  These degrees set people up for positions of authority, and maybe this is good, too.  However, putting in time in a classroom should not translate, in any immediate form, to success.  People get degrees in administration and then become administrators.  Some of these people should never have been administrators, but they put in the work, stuck out the required classes, and were successful at attaining a degree; in our society, sometimes this is enough.  These are the administrators we talk about in hushed voices around the water fountain.  They are the bosses who have “earned” a title but cannot earn respect.

Conversely, sometimes successful people who put in the time and hard work battling the various stages of a seemingly endless war towards success get there and completely forget the man or woman struggling to do the same thing behind them.  Worse yet, the people who attain success this way now believe, at the pinnacle of their success, that their opinion on the whos, hows, whats, wheres, and whys is the only opinion of value.  These people are the smartest people in the room, and we all hate them.

So you have made it through my take on successful people.  Now for some introspection.

If you are successful, take a second and evaluate what you’re doing with it.  Are you a jerk?  There are a couple of self examining questions that you can answer that will aid in identifying the truth. 

Firstly.  Look in the mirror (if you are like me, you initially have to do a front double  bicep pose (this does not make you a jerk-just vain),  and then ask yourself this question,

1) “Is anyone as smart as the person I am looking at?”

If your answer is no, then you are probably a jerk.  If you answered yes, then proceed to the next question.

2)  Do you care more about being liked than being fair?

If you answered yes, you are a jerk; stop reading now.

3) Are you a self-seeking opportunist?

If you answered yes, you are a horrible person

4) Do you like Christina Aguilera?

If yes, jerk.

5) Do you only drink Bud Light, Coors Light, or Miller and then pretend you can totally tell the difference between them, and even more importantly, do you push this on others?

If yes, close minded jerk.

6) Do you know what comes after Baby, Baby, Baby in Bieber’s song?

If yes, absolutely a lost soul.

I just wanted to say this because I have been holding it in for years.


  1. Sarah says:

    I did okay until the self-seeking opportunist part. Shite.

  2. sam says:

    ha! I did ok until the self-seeking part and then the Justin Bieber part. Baby, baby, baby OOOOHHHH I’m like…. Yikes. I’m disappointed in me.

  3. Brock Ludlow says:

    Cooks light is better than any beer on the market. Fact if you don’t think so…….Jerk.

  4. Shannon Hale says:

    You once told me I looked like Christina Aguilera and then tried to tell me it was a good thing…. Jerk.

    Then again, it was Halloween and I was dressed as Medusa.

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